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“Gee, a lot of the people at the dojo are getting so COCKY!” the intermediate student exclaimed, one evening, after class.
“Yes, personalities change, don’t they?” I replied with my best, Kung Fu wise man impersonation.
“Really,” she continued. “They’re way different people than they were when we started!”
I just grinned.
Unquestionably, the martial arts change people, or people change themselves when they commit to practicing them, and these alterations become quite evident at the intermediate stages of development.
While, of course, you’ve heard about of the outcomes of training: fitness, toughness, concentration, improved self-confidence, and the ability to walk down dark alleys all by yourself, late at night; these are just some of the pluses that are touted by dojos.
But there is a DARK SIDE, as well, and you begin to see it about two years into one’s development.
Heavy pressures are placed on people’s families and friends and even work mates and employers by the suddenly bold, and perhaps brash, students. Instead of meekly fulfilling their predetermined roles, they become, like clothes they’ve outgrown, misfits.
Like adolescents who surprisingly question authority everywhere but in their peer groups, students’ contacts outside of the training hall don’t know what to make of them, now that they are as difficult to “herd” as cats.
Training consumes more time as it becomes advanced and refined, straining the ecology of relationships where people may not have had that much “face time” to begin with.
Suddenly, unions that held together with only the adhesion of habit, start to fray, and martial artists see they are on a path that is solitary, but more fulfilling.
The dojo becomes home, and its inhabitants, their families. And frankly, they’re happier there than they were where they used to spend their discretionary time.
Fractured families and broken homes, at a certain level, seem to become as commonplace as bruised hands and feet. Yet, practitioners are smiling, as they morph from one state of being to the next.
Dojos are a canvas on which their hidden feelings, hopes and fears are painted. By seeing themselves in a new light, possibly a more objective one, aspiring martial artists are treated to a rare insight: seeing exactly how unhappy they’ve been.
How they deal with that information is perhaps even more character building than anything else they will learn, on or off the mat.
Dr. Gary S. Goodman, President of http://www.Customersatisfaction.com, is a popular keynote speaker, management consultant, and seminar leader and the best-selling author of 12 books, including Reach Out & Sell Someone and Monitoring, Measuring & Managing Customer Service, and the audio program, “The Law of Large Numbers: How To Make Success Inevitable,” published by Nightingale-Conant. He is a frequent guest on radio and television, worldwide. A Ph.D. from USC’s Annenberg School, a Loyola lawyer, and an MBA from the Peter F. Drucker School at Claremont Graduate University, Gary offers programs through UCLA Extension and numerous universities, trade associations, and other organizations from Santa Monica to South Africa. He holds the rank of Shodan, 1st Degree Black Belt in Kenpo Karate. He is headquartered in Glendale, California, and he can be reached at (818) 243-7338 or at: gary@customersatisfaction.com
For information about coaching, consulting, training, books, videos and audios, please go to http://www.customersatisfaction.com
A healthy colon is a colon that is free of a toxic waste build up. This toxic, unhealthy build up makes it much harder for waste to make its way through your intestines and out of your exit. We, as humans, are exposed to a very high amount of toxins on a daily basis. These toxins can be found in the pollution of the air we breathe, in our water supply, and, including but not limited to, in the different types of food we consume. If the toxins are not removed, this causes the excess gas to build up, which leaves you in a bloated state.One cleansing method for removing toxin would be drfloras, a colon cleansing system.
The act of colon cleansing has been going on since the beginning of time, or at least since the beginning of recorded history. Colon cleansing has proven to be immensely beneficial to ones health. Many past medical practices are drastically altered or merely forgotten as time moves on, but that is simply not the cases for colon cleansing. Most ancient medical practices have long been forgotten, but not this one. Colon cleansing truly can be a life saver, as well as a body purifier, which is why we still practice colon cleansing now, so many years, centuries, even a millennium later. A great colon cleansing system to try would be drfloras.The people of the past were not ignorant to its benefits, and neither are we.
You can use drfloras in the privacy of your home, without having to endure an embarrassing visit to your doctor. This colon cleansing system not only cleanses your colon, but it also boosts your metabolism, reduces parasites, worms, toxins, and chemicals, contains Pro-Biotics (which create a hostile environment for harmful bacteria, parasites, and worms), and relieves bloating and constipation. It also makes you feel much less tired and fatigued. The use of all natural ingredients in this colon cleanser ensures this products safety. This is truly is an amazing colon cleanser.
Co-Dependency is an unhealthy reliance on another person for every thought, action, and feeling. It consists of people who seem to be defined by another other person. One person relies so much on another person’s opinion — that the daily functions they once had as an individual are lost. That individual is no longer capable of making his or her own choices.
A person who is co-dependant is constantly striving to please another person and have made them selves so self-less that they begin to lose who they are. Their life becomes a sacrifice for another person.
A person who is co-dependant ceases to be them self and becomes part of two. A person’s want for someone else in their life is overcome with the need to have someone else in their life in order to function. The person feels the need to spend every waking moment thinking about that other person, being with them, talking to them, or thinking of ways to make that person happier.
While a marriage should strive to do those items, there is a happy medium and for a lack of a better term, co-dependency could be considered as ’stalking’. The constantly calling them, seeing them, thinking about them, giving them things — are traits of stalkers who feed their need off the presence of the other person.
If a person doesn’t feel happy unless they are with their significant other, this is where the problem begins. To only gain a feeling of happiness by someone, an outside factor that you can’t always control is unhealthy. A person must be happy with them selves and love them selves as a person, if you don’t love yourself, how do you expect someone else to?
During the honeymoon stages of a relationship, it seems reasonable to want to always be with that person, talk to them, or think about them - but it is important to know that your life doesn’t revolve around them.
My grandparents have been married 60 odd years. Their secret is that she gives the orders and he carries them out, this doesn’t work in all relationships. If one were to die, the other would soon follow.
Every leader needs a follower and every follower needs a leader. But in relationships, there needs to be a bigger 50/50 balance of respect and understanding that for the first 18+ years of your life, you have lived as an individual and you have your own habits, both bad, as well as good. These habits aren’t easily changed. While we strive to make ourselves better, there will always be something that drives the other person nuts.
As a couple, each person must live their own lives — pursue their own jobs and hobbies.
I dated a girl I worked with, bad idea. Since I was in upper management, work was my life and I always wanted to talk about it. She on the other hand didn’t. She couldn’t figure out why I didn’t focus more on school. Our priorities conflicted each other and shortly our relationship ended. We both have degrees now, but I have experience and after I left that job, she was let go.
One weekend after she and I had been dating, I was watching a movie at my apartment. Usually she went home (from college) on weekends, but had stayed in town that weekend. We had spent the past week together and I needed to take a break and be myself. She stopped by on Saturday and wondered if I was going to call her since she was in town that weekend. I hadn’t planned on it, it would have been good to hang with her, but I didn’t need to. She couldn’t understand why I just sat there and watched a movie while she was in town and we could spend some time together. Watching movies was one of my favorite things to do, she usually studied, read, or slept.
My parent’s relationship is a good example of a non-codependent marriage. They work overlapped hours, so they aren’t together 24/7. My mom is usually busy with stuff for church, my dad is busy with other stuff for church and a community service club. At home, she works in her office and he works out in the sunroom. They are both home and happy that they know where the other person is. Every day at noon they call each other, it is more of a tradition than a need. They wouldn’t be lost of the other person didn’t call, it was just part of their daily routine. Every Friday night they go out to eat and maybe see a movie, after all, remember that they are friends. Sure mom does some things for dad that a mom would do. But that is her nature and it works.
They match as friends to the affect that her strengths are his weaknesses and vice versa. They compliment each other and have a happy relationship in which they are dependent on each other for love and shared memories and the wanting to spend their lives together. They can go days without the other person. But usually don’t.
The couples that call each other six times a day and wonder where the other person is and why they aren’t with them is where it becomes unhealthy.
A friend of mine was dating one girl who was very co-dependent. When he’d home from work, she would call just a minute or two after he walked in and would ask where he was. He would simply say that he just walked in the door and was resting and this would upset her. She expected him to spend every moment of his spare time with her.
She didn’t give him any freedom to be himself. She lived in the fear that if he leaves, her life is nothing. Her needs in the relationship were based on a set of unrealistic expectations.
She was so selfish in wanting her needs to be filled that she didn’t consider his past and his needs. This was the basis for that relationship ending.
People need their alone time. Time to be by them selves to think. You shouldn’t stress yourself out about the other person so much that you can’t live as an individual. A relationship can bring happiness, but happiness shouldn’t be grounded in another person.
I’ve been single for quite some time — maybe by an unconscious choice, maybe conscious, maybe chance, or maybe by a Higher power. Being single has given me the opportunities to do what I want to do, be who I want to be, and discover myself. My plate is so full with wanting to write a book, to finishing a movie, to making short films, to getting my finances in order, building credit, getting in shape, and eating healthy — that would be a lot to handle and try and maintain a relationship at the same time.
Aside from relationships, people can become co-dependant on drugs, alcohol, sex, painkillers, food, and so many more things. If it is considered bad to be dependant on those, then I would venture to say it would be bad to be co-dependant in a relationship.
That is another article.
Chad J. Bring is a rising author who just published his first novel, Left Standing in addition to co-writing a screenplay for an independent film through their RoomMate Productions film production company.
It’s very easy to disregard health insurance when preparing for a college education. Most students are in general in the mindset where health insurance is the final thing they think of. Younger people are wont to believe that they are immortal and that they will not become ill.
The reality is, no matter how well a person is it is no way to predict their future health. Affordable health insurance isn’t merely for the wealthy, it’s a necessity.
For those students lucky enough to be covered under a parent’s policy, in general most family policies will include a student up to the age of twenty three. For students who do not have cover under a family plan, an essential part in budgeting for a college education will be finding affordable medical insurance. What is fundamental in an insurance policy for college students? What is a deductible? It is an annual sum you have to pay before the medical benefits starting, akin to an auto insurance plan. An example might be, should your deductible be five hundred dollars, $500 must be paid prior to getting benefits associated with your plan.
So what exactly does co-pay imply? When your deductible is met, normally for each doctor’s visit, medicinal drug, and procedure you’ll be required to pay a portion of the bill. This is termed a co-pay.
Exactly what should the health insurance plan cover? Nearly all insurance policies are HMO and PPA. This could mean certain physicians may not be in your authorized health professionals and may not be covered on your insurance policy. A directory of approved health professionals should be provided with your medical insurance plan, so study that before picking out a medical insurance policy for students. What does the term catastrophic coverage imply? Limitations are commonplace in college student medical insurance policies as far as critical illnesses, in virtually all student policies, it is commonly lower than a regular insurance plan.
So what are the limits? Limits are very common in most college student medical insurance policies. It’s crucial to study the policy carefully to discover what may and may not be included.
Carry all the medical insurance cards secure everywhere. It is not only not possible to plan for accidents or an illness, they are also liable to come about at a bad time. Familiarise yourself with the details particular to your low-cost college medical policy, whether through your parent’s insurance policyplan or you have your own insurance.
This past Memorial Day weekend I decided to revisit my bookshelf to poke around and reminisce with books I’d read over the last decade. You see, I not only like to collect great books, I also date each one to remind me of when I read it. My ‘invisible finger’ guided me toward a book I read seven years ago titled, “Wealth and Freedom” by David Levin. Wealth and Freedom (I know…sounds boring) is a great read on political economy for non-economists…like me.
In the second chapter titled “Capitalism”, Levine dedicates a segment to a phrase made popular by the Economist Joseph Schumpeter; that phrase being ‘Creative Destruction’ which describes the chaotic changes that occur when a new product (i.e., technology) or service is introduced into the market. For example, remember when the Compact Disc was introduced ushering in the dramatic decline of the use of audio tapes. The most current example is how Digital Video Discs (DVDs) are now ousting VHS tapes from our local video stores. Soon, even DVDs will be replaced by high-speed internet downloads.
What happens to the old products? Gone. What happens to the people that use to work for the audio or VHS tape companies? They eventually move to another position or go to work for these new digital companies. In the end, the consumer wins because a new and more efficient product has been created making our lives more convenient (e.g., no more fast forward, less shelf space for CDs and DVDs, etc.).
Change is the ongoing cycle of capitalism. Introduce a new product. It then creates an upheaval in the marketplace. The upheaval settles into normality until the next creative destruction (new technology) comes along.
As I reread Levine’s description of creative destruction, my mind wandered onto the topic of success. I began to think about the many people who are so comfortable with their lives that they don’t want anything to change. Yet, many of them live quiet lives of desperation; who deep down inside want change. They want something exciting to happen to their existence. But when something new is introduced into their normal daily life, they’re quick to reject it. Herein lay one of the greatest conundrums of success. We want our lives to change, but we don’t want anything to change that would cause us to have to make changes. Huh?!
In the marketplace, change is forced upon us by the creative minds of individuals with new ideas and visions. But in our personal space, who will force change upon us? Who will force us to change our habits of failure into habits of success? Who will force us to try something we’ve never done before? Who will coerce us to move beyond our comfort zone? Who? You, that’s who!
Many of us are waiting for a ‘change agent’, a creative destructive force that will make our lives, in the end, better. Unfortunately, the majority of people wait all their lives for such a creative force of change that never shows up.
I don’t need to tell you that you can’t wait for a creative destructive force to make you do what needs to be done. No ‘great power’ is going to intercede in your change until you consciously decide to make it happen. Nothing will happen until you creatively destroy the old patterns that haven’t been working over the years.
Creative destruction for you is a commitment to stop, evaluate and redirect your energies toward your aspirations regardless of the unintended consequences. You can’t predict what may come when you start to reconstruct your live. You can’t prognosticate every outcome. You can’t always assuage your fear of failure. What you can do is convince yourself that your present life is not enough and that if something is to dramatically change, you must make a dramatic change in your approach.
So here’s what I want you to do. Introduce the cycle of success (creative destruction) into your life. Start a new activity or good habit today. That habit will create some upheaval (i.e., change) in your life which will eventually settle into normality until you introduce the next creatively destructive habit.
Where do you begin? You begin by doing things you’ve always feared doing. Read a book that will inspire you. Begin by doing little things you’ve always put off for tomorrow. Begin by taking small risks and a few leaps of faith so you can begin to reformulate, reconstitute, reconstruct the new you while at the same time creatively destroying the old you.
Like anything in life that’s worth pursing, change comes with a cost. You will have moments when you are uncertain of the direction your headed. There will be moments when you’ll want to revert to the old you because it seems easier. There will be times when you wish you could just go back to your old life. Don’t do it! Although these tendencies are a natural reaction to change, you must resist the urge to regress back to mediocrity.
The outcome of creative destruction will not be immediately evident. Only as time passes and as you begin to redefine your life will you be able to appreciate the benefits of your self-inflicted upheaval. New patterns bring new thoughts which lead to even newer patterns of success.
Albert Einstein defined the definition of insanity as doing the same thing, the same way over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Both Einstein and Schumpeter understood that a new YOU will only emerge as a result of a change in YOU.
Victor Gonzalez, top Hispanic motivational speaker and author of “The LOGIC of Success”. For more info go to: www.thelogicofsuccess.com or by email victor@thelogicofsuccess.com
There is no doubt that violence in our community is increasing. Look at what happened in the wake of the New Orleans hurricane Katrina disaster. The criminals of the city took it upon themselves to further the trauma by committing all manner of violence and disgusting crimes towards others.
Violence simmers in every city. It is just below the surface - everywhere. Just walk down the wrong street, breakdown in your vehicle in the wrong neighborhood, make an inappropriate remark or even look at somebody the wrong way and you can be in a lot of trouble.
Police cannot stand on every street corner. Nor should they. Hoods know this. They might be violent but many of them are not stupid. They know exactly where, when, how and who to target for maximum impact.
We all know the problem. But what is the solution?
Well, simplistically it all boils down to two basic options:
Sure, we are under more and more surveillance all the time. Just look at how many cameras were operating in London at the time of the rail and bus terrorist bombings. Nowadays, you are being filmed all the time. Sometimes you are aware of it, often you are not. Do cameras protect anybody? No.
Cameras and to a large extent even the police are effective only AFTER the event. Cameras can provide evidence for Court proceedings. Police can make arrests. But how does any of that help you when you are trapped by a lunatic hell-bent on causing you damage?
In many cases drugs are the cause of violence. That was one of the theories put forward in the case of what happened at New Orleans. It was stated that as the many drug users became more and more desperate and demented for another drug fix they resorted to acts of extreme violence.
You cannot negotiate peace with a violent drug user because the drug is shielding the sensibility, sensitivity, compassion and humanity of the drug taker. All they see you as is a target capable of supplying them with their next fix.
We have now arrived at the point where you could be confronted by a desperate, violent person and there are no police or security guards anywhere in sight. What do you do? How can you be your own bodyguard?
In Part 2 of “Danger in the Streets - How to Be Your Own Bodyguard” I will outline some tactical responses that you can employ. However, if you prefer, you can go directly to my website and view more information on my two “Strike-Back” manuals. Having studied karate for 35 years I have put all my experience into their contents.
You can learn to be your own bodyguard. Stay with me and I will show you how.
This article comes with reprint rights providing no changes are made and the resource box below accompanies it.
About the author: Gary Simpson is the author of eight books covering a diverse range of subjects such as self esteem, affirmations, self defense, finance and much more. His articles appear all over the web. Gary’s email address is budo@iinet.net.au. Click here to go to his
Motivation & Self Esteem for Success website where you can receive his “Zenspirational Thoughts” plus an immediate FREE copy of his highly acclaimed, life-changing e-book “The Power of Choice.”
The big advantage of Chamonix village is its distance to Geneva. You is able to depart the UK in the a.m. and be snowboarding during the early afternoon. The simplicity of Easyjet and reasonably priced carriers has led to much cheaper air fares moreover with merely an hour ski transfer duration between the airport and Chamonix a ski weekend is now within the range of anyone; furthermore all our luxury ski chalets are available from Weds/Thurs until Sunday to allow you to take full advantage of cheaper airfares and quiet mountains. On disembarking the plane at the airport right up until collecting your snowboarding badges waiting for you when you arrive in resort; weekend is reserved to insure you has the least time on route and the maximum of the weekend snowboarding.
A weekends skiing in Chamonix village can be a superb holiday that is if you organise the details correctly so that one can revel in your valuable holiday. This means getting the air flights transfer and chalet bang on and taking you to the slopes as quickly as humanly possible. Our goal is to give the largest length of time and the min. amount of hassle this is coupled with the normal impeccable levels of relaxation meals and concierge service. To this end we provide swift Geneva airport transfers first-class catered chalets first-class meals and will recommend and reserve guides and skiing instructors.
We apply for personality quizzes in various life situations. In most cases we do it in our own free will. Though, sometimes it happens forcibly, like in case of sanity personality quiz. It is typically used by the legal system to determine if someone is “legally insane” and can be held accountable for their actions in a court of law.
Dating, matchmaking, relationship, and entertainment personality quizzes are taken absolutely free by people who want to get know themselves better or just to have fun. Dating and matchmaking quizzes help to make an ideal choice of girlfriend or boyfriend. Don’t take them too seriously. Like anything else that can’t be seen, touched, or smelled, take these personality quiz results with a grain of salt.
A relationship personality quiz is designed to test the compatibility factors between two people. It measures those traits that have been determined to promote a long term relationship.
A pre-employment personality quiz type is designed to match the personality of an existing employee, who is being considered for promotion, to the type of personality that is needed to survive in the position for which there is a vacancy.
There are dozens of personality tests that you can find in magazines and Internet:
What kind of person are you? Are you an ideal neighbor? Your perfect job! And so on, and so forth. So, you’ll surely find at least a couple to take.
Not even the famous Beatles can help the city of Liverpool survive through these worrying times. The world recession is taking its toll on the city and in particular the rapid drop in the amount of office square footage now being utilised.
Merseyside may be benefiting from the weak sterling against the euro but it will take more than an exchange rate to survive current economic conditions. Profit margins are so low now in the office rental market that even if new companies are found for the empty offices it will be tough to turn the situation around.
Competition for this sector not only comes from within the city but also every other major capital in Europe. Each seeing, an erosion of this part of their cities economy and with a real problem on their hands. For Liverpool the cheaper rentals have attracted some companies, like the Maersk group, who are ship owners and see the sear faring port as a real advantage in deciding where to base themselves.
With over a million square feet of office space in existence it is easy to see how this predicament could cause major problems for city officials and local politicians. It would seem that a radical new stance must be taken and tenacious leadership could be the key to surviving the next few difficult years. One sector of the rental market which is offering a solution to empty office space is desk hire. An increase in demand for this has fuelled the need for dedicated websites such a Desk Space Genie. So wherever you might be looking for desk space to hire, whether it be Liverpool, or even desk space in Cambridge, it’s certainly a good place to start.
Algebra is one of the most profound courses pupils learn during their life. There are a lot of students who are doing algebra because they have troubles being able to learn the subject field.
Although a lot of students are not actually sure of what is included in algebra but it is not awful as a lot of people think. Some of the basic parts of algebra include finding least common multiple, factoring difference of cubes and reducing fractions.
When maths is leaned by pupils, especially at college level it is very significant for them to apply some preparation and also some persistence in learning mathematical constructs from easy to hard ones. There are a lot of college maths courses at introductory level that are built-up around establishing a sound path for the route into advanced mathematics as they enable learning the core skills that are required.
There are a lot of different software programs that can be used to help you with algebra and these include systems such as algebra calculators. It is also feasible to get a math tutor if you are really uncertain about your algebra skills. The packages are very good and will assist you with all aspects of algebra including linear equations , graphing non-linear inequalities , reducing complex fractions with different denominators and on mastering the basic and more complex topics of algebra.
If you are just starting out in the world of mathematics, it is a good idea to do one of the first level courses as they will teach you the very fundamental principles and build on that so that you are able to get up to the more higher stage of mathematics. The starting courses of study also teach you the science of algebra through the use of a significant number of different examples and methods so this is a perfect beginning point for the beginner to algebra.
The only problem with mathematics courses is that they sometimes do not follow things in a very logical order and this particularly is the case when you are a student at grade school. A lot of the students at school are really very ill-prepared for addressing algebra and they do not genuinely have no background knowledge in it.